How to Effectively Plan for Your Aging Parents

No, Ive been the one sacrificing my life to accommodate her, complains Gwen. Well, Ive sent plenty of money. Sis, youre the one who lives with her, screams Terrance over the TV. I think its only fair that she stays with you, states Gwen. The two adults continue to argue. Out of the back room comes their 80 years old mother, crying and in tears, Take me to a nursing home!

Introduction

How can you decide on the long-term care of your parents? How do you handle your brothers and sisters and maintain sanity? These questions are only one snapshot of what the future may hold for you. You cant hide from these decisions. Trouble can find you anywhere. We are called the sandwich generation because we find ourselves simultaneously caring for our elderly parents and our children. Families are no longer in shouting distance from each other; our society has become a very mobile civilization without family and community support. There are countless stories of siblings arguing about whos going to care for their parents, whos in charge, and whos going to pay for it.

Changing World

America continues to grow older as a civilization. Good health, improvements in medicine and technology are producing new social problems. The aging Baby Boomer generation, with its high income and education, will shatter stereotypes and set new cultural standards. According to the 1998 U.S. Census Report, the population is made up of about 12.7 percent seniors (65 years & older). One report found that in many developed countries in the West, older women are much more likely to live alone than are older men, partly because women are more likely to be widowed than men. This expanding senior sector will continue to be marked by diversity and unpredictability.

Hard Choices

Many families do not want to discuss long-term care with their parents. We try to push it away. However, as we watch our parents grow older each day, we find ourselves feeling uncomfortable. Long-term care is the biggest unfunded liability for many families. According to the 1997 Centers for Disease Controls study, there were 1.5 million seniors living in nursing homes. Long-term care can involve a host of considerations. Options include community care, adult day care, home health care, assisted-living care, and life-care facilities to name a few. Each has its advantages and disadvantages. Many dont realize the financial strain aging can cause such as the cost of caring for chronic medical conditions. Can you afford not to think about it before its too late? You can, however, start to take actions.

Below are some suggestions:

Talk with parents about their wishes.

Encourage your parents to complete a will.

Sell any property with relatives (parents, etc.)ASAP.

Remember,property with siblings can be a horror story.

Stay positive amidst negative family members.

Discuss family finances openly.

Discover your role in your parents' care.

Seek professional advice (legal, financial, etc.).

Make a valuable contribution during this time.

Conclusion

Planning is important to ensuring that our parents will continue to live with dignity and fulfillment. How to handle long-term care of parents will continue to be a major issue in the future. People must decide how they will handle these problems. Some family members will continue to be selfish, putting most of the work on the overworked; caring for our elderly is a sacred tradition. Ask the hard questions. Make the important decisions. Gain your happiness back. Our parents deserve the best. Start today!

Daryl and Estraletta Green provide personal advice all around the country. Daryl is the author of two books, Awakening the Talents Within and My Cup Runneth Over. They have been noted and quoted in such media organizations such as USA Today, NBCs Alive at Five, Heaven 600, Answerline, American Urban Radio, The Bev Smith Show, The Hallerin Hill Show, Ebony Magazine, and BETs Buy the Book. The Greens nationally syndicated column, FamilyVision, reached 200 newspapers and over 12 million readers. For a free list of the Greens Top Ten Life, Changing Books, you can email at their website, http://www.darylandestraletta.com

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