Change and Grieving

Greg walked up to me during the break and wanted to know what happened before he came into the board meeting. I feel like Im at a funeral. Everyone is quiet and looking concerned.

As Greg spoke, the word grieving came to mind. I explained that the board was in transition and was now at the influence stage. At this stage, the changes act upon us and we act upon the changes. I explained that both the staff and board members were grieving the changes about to occur.

Explain this to me, he said.

I told him: As you are aware, the board is in the process of changing from supporting international agencies to becoming global and more active, providing a means to create a stronger organization. This means that staff as well as board members are questioning their role in the future organization. The plan to reestablish the board based on new global guidelines could mean that some of us wont be asked to sit on the new board. It could mean that you and other staff will have different roles to play. Were in the process of stopping the old and starting the new. This requires us to know that we are in transition; we will have to change behaviors and know what we are leaving behind.

We are letting go of the old reality and moving on to a new one. We will have losses as one reality ends and another begins. How will we grieve the losses? We may become angry, sad, frightened, depressed and confused. Anger will manifest itself in a number of ways. It is all right to have the emotion of anger. It is not all right to express it in unacceptable behavior. If we start to grumble and complain to try to convince others that this change is not necessary, it will fail. We are angry that we have to change our rituals, disrupt our lives. The anger could move into rage, as we voice our opinions loudly against the change, arguing with the boss to keep things the way they were. We may start to foot-drag to slow things down to disrupt the change, try to hold on to the old as long as possible. We may take things a step further and actually try to sabotage change.

Anxiety will build and start to influence our work and behavior. The fear of the unknown is upsetting and can cause increased absenteeism, mistakes, and a lack of motivation. Anxiety needs to be addressed, and the best solution is keeping well informed. Find out what the changes are and how they will influence you.

Sadness could result from the loss of friends at the office. Youve spent time at work building a network of friends, and losing these friends does cause sadness. I remember an article once given out in a coaching clinic: When sons or daughters are cut from a high-performance team that theyve been on for some time, expect to get a strong reaction from the parents. Yes, they are sad for the child being cut but they also react because theyve set up a friendship network with the other parents. Now they have to give that friendship up. A lot of the sadness, anger and protesting of the child being cut is about them and their losing their circle of friends.

There are many more emotional responses to change, including disorientation, confusion and forgetfulness. All these emotions could lead to feeling down, depressed, flat and hopeless. This could result in behaviors that might need more support and at times professional help. Its important to be aware of the influence stage and the emotional results that can occur. It is natural to have feelings about changes in our lives; it is natural to grieve the losses.

However, Greg and I agree, this is also an exciting time, a creative time. We want to be part of the influence stage. We want to be positive and help create the new beginning. We both feel we will need to understand what the influence stage is going to bring. What we need is as much information as possible about the changes and how they will affect each individual. The agents of change need to be well aware of what the influence stage will bring.

Robert Boucher, President - Cirrus Management Training & Sailing\r
1286 Rockwood Dr. Kingston, Ont. K7P 2M7 Phone:1 613 634-0696\r
Email: robert@cirrusleadership.com Website: http://www.cirrusleadership.com

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